Episode 109
by Stfu
Summary: "Okay, Sasuke, you're going to strip—" The famous SasuSaku bench scene — and how it /really/ went down.


A/N: Used the official English-dubbed episode for reference.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.

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><p>"Sasuke, I'm so in love with you I can't even <em>stand<em> it."

It hurts.

"If y-you would only be with me…I _promise_—I'd never let you regret it."

It hurts.

"Everyday will be a joy; I can_ give_ you happiness. I'll do _anything_ for you, Sasuke. So, _please—_I'm begging you…don't walk away!"

It hurts.

"I'll even…I'll even help get you revenge! I'll do _whatever_ it takes to make it happen, I _swear_! So—s-stay here. With _me_."

I can't take it.

"And if you can't…"

It's too much.

"T-Then take me _with_ you, Sasuke."

Just how cheesy can my lines _get_?

A sigh of relief escapes my lips as my seven paragraph monologue finally comes to an end. I managed to recite each and every line correctly and passionately throughout the entire speech, so I'm pretty proud of myself. To top it off, I included some convincing sniffs amidst all the delicious drama and inserted stutters in all the right places. Even though the script failed to indicate any of these important actions.

I quickly throw my head back to sneak some more antibacterial eye drops into my no longer moist emeralds. As I bring my head back down, I blink as hard as I can to squeeze the liquid from my lids. Almost immediately, I feel water cascade down my left cheek, and then my right, and before I know it, my whole face becomes a waterfall. I silently reprimand myself for wasting so much of the expensive, foreign-imported eye product for this scene alone.

Oh, right; I almost forgot—the _scene_.

I regain awareness of my beloved Sasuke-kun's presence and stare at his back with a pathetic expression, hoping that his pretentiously angst eyes would turn around and look at me for god's sake. I sniff my nose in an extremely unattractive, noisy manner. But still, he provides no answer to my confession.

I wait. And wait. And wait.

What. The. Hell. What's going on? Why isn't he replying? Was that not good enough? I've been screaming my lungs out for the pass half hour, and bawling miserably with all these fake tears, and this is the sorry excuse of an answer I receive? This sappy script is hurting not only my reputation, but my face as well! Just_ look_ at my mascara. It's all smudged and smeared and totally unappealing!

And again, what exactly is up with this cheesy script? Who wrote this bull? Can we please do another take? I was _way_ too corny for my liking. Damn, this scene is just—ugh, I _cannot_ be portrayed like this on national television. I will _not_ allow it.

One of the cameramen—the youngest and hottest of the bunch—shoots a scowl in my direction and signals for me to continue my waterworks. I inwardly sigh. I'm left with no choice. No big tears, no big salary.

I carry on with my depressing weeping session for a moment longer, temporarily shoving all these pissed off thoughts aside 'cause it's almost midnight and the director wants to finish up Episode 109 ASAP. But nevertheless, I feel my patience thinning. When will Sasuke say his damn line? If he continues to stall like this, this scene will appear absolutely dreadful once it airs.

Besides, is Sasuke's character really worth all this? I mean, he's not even moving! Did he fall asleep or something? What does this boy think he's doing? This is an important SasuSaku moment! I swear, I'm gonna sue—

"You…"

About _time_, honey.

I close my eyes and activate my drama queen mode for this upcoming part.

"Haven't changed." Insert a pause to generate suspense. "You're _still_ annoying."

I suppress a yawn. If I remember correctly, I'm supposed to wait three seconds before gasping, and then five before yelling some more nonsense.

3…2…

I gasp.

5…4…3…2…

Here it comes!

"Don't leave me!" I shriek as obnoxiously as possible. "If y-you go…"

The grand finale!

"I'll…_scream_ and—

And this is when Sasuke falls into the hidden passage under the stage and is teleported to the other secret opening behind me. I feel the machine gears below me shift and groan, and finally, a light breeze of fabric brush my shoulder. I furrow my eyebrows in discomfort; he's way too close.

"Cut!" the director interjects. "Sasuke, step back a bit. You're not supposed to be touching her. At least, not _yet_."

I suppress a smirk. How does it feel to be scolded by the director himself, Sasuke_-kun_?

"Yes," the male murmurs and steps a good centimeter back.

Anyway, I have no more lines within this scene. The pressure's all on Sasuke now. But he has it going pretty easy; all he has to say is "Thank you so much for those screams and eye drops, Sakura-chan!" or something along the lines of that.

"Episode 109: bench scene. Take 5!"

Oh jeez, I feel a yawn comin' up again. Damn, I must be tired. What time is it now? It's way past midnight, isn't it? God damn, hurry up, hurry up! Sasuke, hurry the f—

"Sakura…"

Oh, finally! Wait…what in the world—whoa…h-hold on a sec…

"Thank…"

This is one hell of a damn—ugh, holy crap…what is…t-this awful _smell_—

"You…"

Onions? Garlic? God—oh _god_…wait, is this coming from—from…Sasuke's _mouth_?

"For…"

No, no, no. Just_ no_. Oh god—w-wait, _please_. I…my n-nose…can't h-handle—it…s-stinks like_ shit…_

"Everything." The word breezes out softly from Sasuke's slightly parted lips, snakes its way past my shoulders, crawls along my neck, veers around my jaw line, and shoots straight up into my nose.

_Thud_.

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><p>"What the hell just happened?"<p>

"Director, she's unconscious!"

"_What?_"

"What should we do about the scene, sir? Without Sakura, we can't finish the hug scene properly! And without the hug scene, our SasuSaku watchers will be pissed! And once they're pissed, our mailbox will be flooded with hate mails and—"

"Calm down! Let me think!"

"Yes, sir!"

"_…_"

"Sir?"

"Alright, I have an idea. We're cutting the hug scene. Somebody, get a bed! Okay, Sasuke, you're going to strip—

"Sir, we only have benches."

"Damn. Alright, get me a comfortable, well-cushioned bench then. As I was saying, Sasuke, you're going to strip—"

"Sir, we only have stone benches."

"What the—you know what? You know what? It's 2 AM! I'm tired, hungry, and no longer in the mood to do a romantic scene! Sasuke, just throw her on the stone bench! Actually, it doesn't have to be Sasuke. Sasuke's too tired from all of his relatively short lines and death glares. Anybody—you, the youngest cameraman, get over here and bring Sakura to that bench!"

"Uh, sir, what kind of scene is this?"

"How should I know? Just film her lying there and imply that Sasuke knocked her out or something! I don't really give a damn right now—I'm going home!"

"…Understood, sir!"

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><p><span>AN: Hi.


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